Hello boys and girls, Ladies and Gentlemen.

How many times did you think about that question – what is love? What does it mean? How do I know she loves me? Well, fret not. Dr. Gil’s here to answer this question once and for all. And I’m not even going to give you a long-winded, vague, new age explanation that would leave you feeling like an idiot at the end.

No. I intend to answer this question in the most practical, tangible and demonstrable way possible. I guess you can say that this here explanation is scientific. Yay Science!

Listen up boys. Love is not a vague idea. I know that poets across the earth bled onto miles and miles of paper, trying to find the best way to define love. But it’s very easily explained. And I’m not talking about having a crush either. Nor do I refer to longing, or affection, but love, Long lasting. That thing that keeps two people together.

I will use men and women, and talk about this from the man’s perspective, but it obviously applies to so many relationships.

Enough preamble. Here are the 3 surefire indications that she loves you. Not like, or tolerate. Not having a crush nor an attraction, but the kind of love that means you’ve found your real partner. your true love! The keeper. The one who will stay for the long haul. The one.

She doesn’t ask you “What are you thinking about?”

Because she loves you, she knows that whatever the hell you’re thinking about, be it the situation in the middles east, the bastard who stole your lunch at the office, or that super model – what’s her face – with them big boobs. No matter what. It is no threat to her. She has no reason to feel insecure, Because she knows you love her too (You probably make a point of reminding her of that). and she trusts you.

She believably fakes interest in your interest

Say you come home from some place. You were busy doing that thing you like most. You’re all excited and the moment you walk in the door you go “Honey, you got to hear this. I blah blah blah” etc. Or you’re watching some sport on TV and turn around to your partner and say “Did you hear that? that’s incredible!” And guess what… she smiles and manages to hold a conversation of varying length. 2 minutes, an hour. Doesn’t matter, because you turn back to that TV feeling great. You just shared Lebron James’ point per game over his career so far with your partner who has never shown any real interest in basketball. If that happens to you, you’ve got to know she loves you. I mean, take baseball. Even I couldn’t fake interest in that bore-fest…
But above all…

She offers to pop your zits for you…

You can tell me about the oral sex first thing in the morning, the breakfasts in bed and all that romantic, sexy crap all day. But there’s nothing, and I do mean nothing. That shows real, absolute and ever lasting love, more than someone who’s willingly taking the time to mess with what can only be described as the most disgusting product of the human body. Yes, it’s worst than shit… Now women, they love to change us. They’ll use their full arsenal of charms, deception and if needed, persistence and reverse psychology (Oh, I love that mullet honey…). But that’s superficial. If that person puts her fingers on your skin and squeezes these nasty little volcanic insults… This is love, my friend. This is true love.
Now folks, I hope you see that I kept my promise. No mumbo-jumbo. This is the real deal. Love. Defined, and in no clearer terms. With examples.

Do try this at home people.

And then come and tell me what you think!

And until next time we meet, May you all find that special person who’d be willing to squeeze the heck out of those… bleh…

One thought on “Finally. Love. Defined.

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