Hello there. Glad to see you again.
Today, I’d like to rant a little. Haven’t done a good ranting post in a while, so there.
Tumors are no laughing matter. They’re dead serious.
People, affected by cancer (an alarmingly large – and growing – number of people) are dreaming of a cure. People all over the world, spending years to figure out ways to avoid it. Which begs the question – who, in their right mind would like to get cancer?
I Don’t know how it is where you live, but ’round here, I see so many people , many of them young women with kids, who for some inexplicable reason do their best to get it.
So, with no further ado, and only as a service to the local population, here is the short DIY guide to getting cancer. Specifically – brain tumors.
You Will Need:
1. A cellphone. Could be a smart phone, but if you’re on a budget, any old cellular device would do.
2. An ear. You normally have 2 of these, but for effective results it’s recommended to stick to one of these.
Now for the fun part!
The instructions are plain and simple:
Put the cellphone to your ear for hours at a time.
The success rate is overwhelming. People all over the world prove that on a daily basis.
What you will NOT need:
1. A pair of earphones
These will drastically hamper your efforts and the chances of achieving your goal will be significantly reduced, if not eliminated.
2. A car
Whether you want to be sick or not, please don’t take this experiment on the road. I don’t want to die because you decided to throw your life in the toilet!
Seriously. You need to be extremely selfish, or quite frankly – stupid! to endanger everyone around you by having your car and phone competing for the privilege to kill you and those of us who didn’t choose to expire in an untimely manner.
You wanna give yourself cancer – Do it away from the wheel.
Thank you. Drive through.